In my reading class my group and I had to decide if t.v is good or bad for you and write a 5 paragraph essay.
My group topic is T.V is bad for you. T.V is bad for you because people watch it way too much, there is a lot of bad advertising, and people also get lazy watching T.V.
First, why T.V is bad for you is that people watch it way too much. I heard if you watch T.V way too much that you can mess up your eyes from sitting to close to the T.V. If you watch T.V in the dark you can also mess up your eyes. People that are coming home from work are tired and they want to watch T.V so they are watching T.v and they get a headache. When I watch T.V I get sick like a headache and you can get reed of it!
Second, why T.V is bad for you is that there is a lot of bad advertising. People like the advertising but there is just way too much! About On every commercial there is about 5-10 advertising and most of them are trying to sell really bad stuff. The advertising try to get you to but cheap stuff. They also try to get you to but fatty foods.
Lastly, why T.V is bad for you is that people get lazy. People get lazy from watching too much T.V and they don't finish there homework or they just get it done. People think they don't get lazy but they do. Also they don't feel like doing anything like cooking dinner or doing anything but watch T.V.
That is the three reasons why T.V is bad for you. 1.People watch it too much. 2.There are too much bad advertising. and 3.People get lazy. That is why T.V is bad for you!
Hi Felicia,
ReplyDeleteHere are my comments about your essay:
1. Your intro paragraph very clearly states your opinion and 3 reasons why you have that opinion. Your conclusion paragraph does the same good job. For next time, try to include 1 sentence at the very beginning of your intro paragraph to get your audience interested instead of just jumping in with your opinion. Something like "The invention of TV really changed people's lives. The question is, did it change them for the better or for the worse?" and then say your opinion.
2. I think you may have made some mistakes while typing that weren't in your paper version of your essay. You DID fix a lot of the "too's" in your essay but you capitalized "on" in and put "but" instead of "buy" in the 3rd paragraph.
3. Each of your 3 middle paragraphs describes 1 clear reason you have for thinking TV is bad. That's great. You also used transition words like "first," "second," and "lastly" in front of each of your paragraphs. Well done.
Score 19/20